This is 20

"It's a bit like when you turn twelve and want to be thirteen but you're mentally still ten."

the ramblings of a twenty year old girl.....  


One week into uni + I’m already drained! Which is why I’m currently getting a Swedish massage while you’re reading this!

Now thats not because I’m a complete diva,  but because today is my 20th birthday! 

*minor panic attack* 

I don’t know what it is but turning 20 feels like the scariest thing ever. Gone are the years of blaming all mistakes + immaturity on being a teenager, I’m a fully fledged adult now! Somebody give me my award for making it this far please. 

I honestly think 19 is the perfect age.It's like all the big scary aspects of life can't really touch you, as you haven't crossed the teen threshold into the 'ties' where life gets hella you're sort of in a limbo. Does that make sense?

Cat Eye Sunnies  ASOS

Cat Eye Sunnies ASOS

You feel just about grown up, but the “teen” at the end makes you feel like there’s still time left to make dumb decisions! Talking to my friends, they feel like 19 is the 'pointless age'. 18 was the big one  and 19 is just like that akward phase.

....but what do they know they're just teenagers.

(jks..been waiting to use that line for so long!)

I think it's a bit like when you turn twelve, want to be thirteen but you're mentally still ten. 

 I don’t know if it’s social media or my own self but I feel enormous pressure to get my things together + have life* figured out. It seems like every other 20-22 year old is out here accomplishing milestones, getting collaborations + being featured in Forbes 30 under 30. Now I know I’ve personally achieved so much that I should be proud of, but I guess it’s just human nature to compare. 

* aspects of life

And I don’t know about you but I’m gonna use that pressure to push myself this year + achieve so much more!

Off the shoulder blouse  HM

Off the shoulder blouse HM

I’m claiming my blessings both physically + spiritually and I’m gonna have put in the time with God and sacrifice my own, to accomplish everything I want. I think that that’s one of the only ways to progress. Nothing I want this year will just come to me. 

Actually you never know! 

They say your 20’s are your selfish years (hence the pamper day) so I'm gonna be just that. Actually let me switch up the wording.

'Self Loving'

I want to make time for myself, relax more and be more indulgent in myself. To an extent. As much as I loved working hard and ticking off my to do lists, I didn't sit back and breathe last year, to a point where I wasn’t revelling in any victory, big or small.

2018 I will revel more than necessary and be proud of minor milestones.

It’s the year to gas myself up!

There’s no time like the present.

This is going to be my year (I mean I say this every year)

This is positivity 

This is peace of mind

This is joy



This is 20. 

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